Wednesday, November 24, 2010

De-toxifying

Glog, I've been forced to ground myself for a few days, resolving to never drink again again.  This past Saturday, Indiana hosted Penn State football in Washington, DC.  (It's some ploy by NFL stadiums to convince universities that they will increase enrollment by traveling around the country.)

Naturally, since my house is only 1.5 hours' drive from DC, the family roosted at my little nest before heading down to Fed Ex Field.  And, naturally, we had a few cold ones.  My diet for the day (to the best of my recollection):
  • one cupcake topped with cute little caramel turkeys with pretzel legs, stuffed with more cake crumbs, and sitting on a bed of green cornflakes that looked like lettuce.  Very cute, and very caramel-y.
  • four to five cookies of various flavors and sizes
  • one piece of pumpkin spice flavored sticky bun
  • one moderately sized brownie
  • one mystery dessert which I will deem a "maple bar"
  • a few bites of crab dip on crackers
  • a test bite of taco-flavored ground beef which looked like it was something made of brown sugar
  • one slice of spice cake with orange glaze
I think that about sums it up.  All of this was consumed before 11am, and, you will note, was carefully orchestrated to eliminate nearly all nutritional value from the system. The family fried a turkey, and made all the trimmings including mashed potatoes, corn, and green bean casserole - but I was a stuffed bird.

Top my buffet with several shots of Canadian whiskey and several more cans of domestic swill known to vast majorities of the population as beer, and you get a small glimpse of my state of mind later in the evening.  (And if you did happen to glimpse my state of mind?  Please let me know how awful it was.  Because I can only assume - very.)

After a brief time passed out napping in the car, I was returned to my sofa, where I took in about six hours of shut eye.  And then, for some reason, I didn't feel very well and ended up thinking about how I could have cleaned the toilet last Thursday instead of watching TV.

I hate when I have to ground myself before holidays.  My goal for Thanksgiving is to remember to eat a vitamin or two, and to keep the correct end pointed at the porcelain.  Wish me luck!

5 comments:

Katie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Katie said...

what a coincidence - I found myself in a similar situation on Tuesday at about 8AM. Except for me I had just cleaned the toilet the night before, which made it worse bc my efforts were all washed away in Four Loko. After that I also vowed to never drink again, but my vow was broken by 7PM. GO THANKSGIVING BREAK!

Out of My Mind said...

Oh, Nicki, this was delightful. It gave me several lols and a rofl, and then a roflmao.

You have a wonderful sense of humor and write it down so well.

And, as usual, you jogged a memory in my mind and I will need to get to the rough draft as soon as I finish this.

Mainly wanted to say Happy Thanksgiving and tell you how much I envy your diet,,,,,kt

wv="cuslyc"
(is this they "cuss like" sailors? or am I pronouncing it wrong?)

Out of My Mind said...

Still De-toxifying I see! Mannnn, you must have tied one on. Wow.....what does that mean for you come New Years????????

I wrote up the idea you jogged out of my mind. I'm looking for the right picture. I will let you know when I post it.

Get a load of today's word verification:
nothett.....So prounounce it to yourself with an Elmer Fudd lisp and....there you go....a Disney character cussing! I can't help it I get off on these crazy non-words! kt

Out of My Mind said...

Almost forgot:
Wanted you to know that the item I wrote after reading this entry will post on 1/10 Monday (#95).

kt