Operation "Get Back to Gym" aka "Mova da Butta" is well into its second week. I read the beginning of an article this morning about how one should stop making excuses for skipping the gym. Things like "I forgot my sports bra", it says, should not be acceptable since there are plenty of things one can do (such as lifting weights) that do not necessitate the binding constraints of a sports bra.
Meanwhile I am thinking, "Sports bra? 90 percent of the time, I forget my whole gym bag." In fact, I keep a spare set of (ugly) clothes at the office, complete with old sneakers. (The ugliness is an attempt to make me learn my lesson and remember my s**t the next time. It doesn't work. If I cared what people thought about my appearance I would probably not be taking dance related classes at all.)
Today, I forgot my hair tie. Normally, of course, I avoid this issue because I keep a stash of about 20 hair ties in my bag, thus allowing me the chance to disremember putting it back in the bag now and again. Unfortunately, I haven't figured out how to put an infinite supply in there. So I ran out.*
Plan B (technically Plan C if you count "remember-to-put-hair-tie-into-bag-you-dumbass" as Plan A) is my typical MacGuyver move. I get my hair into a braid, then slip my ring over the end, and slide it up as tightly as possible. I have thin hair so this usually holds pretty well.
Not today. I don't know if my hair got thicker or my ring got smaller. Had to have been the hair. Maybe it's the hard water at the house. (Please ensure Adam that my ring size remains a 5.)
Anyway, I was really struggling. I thought I could just work out with my hair loose, and then I swallowed a hair and it got caught in my throat. I'm in the middle of this class, trying to pry a hair out of my throat by alternately gagging myself and horking up hockers. (Does anyone know the proper spelling of "horking"? Spell check can't find it....)
Needless to say, it was very gross. Not to mention distracting. I wasn't getting many of the step aerobics moves in between gags.
Finally, finally, I came up with this, which is actually still in place now:
And you wonder why I haven't been to the gym?
*Also I was 10 minutes late, because another common reason for skipping the gym is that I get caught up in whatever I am doing at work and suddenly it is too late to get there in time for a class. (Yes, they have treadmills. Evil, boring treadmills. Yuck.)