Tuesday, October 18, 2011


I swear, Netflix is messing with me.  I just went to "My Queue" because it sent us a movie that I wanted to see, but is available for download at any time through the streaming option.  Basically it sent me something I already had for months, and still hadn't bothered to watch.  The thing it sent me before that would have been more at home on my sister's queue.  It was some romantic comedy starring Christina Applegate, and the only possible reason I could conger up for its presence in my home was that I liked "Married With Children" when I was younger.  I have been known to watch a romantic comedy here and there, but generally it is when my mom or sister has some control over the remote control, and I do not recall ever adding it to my queue.

And no, I don't think Sis got on there and rearranged my selections.  I don't even know the password half the time and when I do get through the tight security, I tend to have trouble accessing the Netflix site.

These last two movies were returned after several days of sitting on the counter in limbo.

So I just checked out my queue and there is not a single movie on there that I would like to watch.  I do remember putting these horrible choices on there, and continually moving them to the bottom.  Worse, I cannot think of a recent movie I would like to see.  I am sure there are things out there that I would enjoy. 

I went to the "Suggetions For You" section where, I kid you not, the top choices for me are a cartoon about a boy and his magical dog, a comedy special called "Talking Monkeys in Space", and a Nickelodeon TV show aimed at pre-teenage boys in the mid-nineties.  I am seriously considering the magic dog, and a nature video about Cuttlefish.  You know,  the octopi?  Come on people, cuttlefish!

I don't know.  I did really like "The Adventures of Scott Pilgrim".  Maybe I am a cuttlefish kinda gal.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Me Replacement

OK, I have been watching The Cool TV for hours and apparently it is a channel watched by many many balding men.  The "hair replacement" commercial has been on so many times, I just might be tempted to call.  Why?  You may ask?  Well, my hair follicles seem to be in tact, but:  I have noticed that the hair replacement tends to be supplemented by weight loss, nose jobs, and changes in eye color.  One man in the commercial, and I quote:  "After my hair replacement surgery, I felt like a different person."

Go figure.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Cider House Blues

My apologies, Constant Reader(s).  I had the next topic all thought up - as you probably guessed, a continuation of my ever more desperate attempts to reconcile my inconclusive sleep disorder - but I got writers block again.  So, the sleep story will have to wait until it is ready to be told.  I, apparently, am not in control.


Last Thursday, I sat at my desk running calculations on a concrete beam, trying to decide how to support an existing structure while this beam is removed and replaced.  Truly, I was deep into it, really focused on my work.  Or not.

Suddenly, I realized.  I forgot the cider that my Dad had brought last Saturday.  This, I surmised, was the explanation for the slightly sweet and slightly sour smell that currently emanated from the interior of my vehicle.  Bummer.

I immediately emailed my Dad to tell him.  Perhaps he would buy more cider and drive two hours to deliver it.  Perhaps we would work out an elaborate Cider Scheme, for I cannot go an entire Fall without this cider.  He gets it from his neighbors, who press the apples, add nothing to them, and put the results in gallon jugs at the end of their driveway.  This is not grocery store cider.  Oh lament, and alas!  Surely, he would be as distraught as I was!

"Bummer," he writes back.  Yeah.
That's what I thought.

I learned some little known facts this week:

Fact #1.  We all know that fermenting cider turns to vinegar.  But, do most of you know that fermenting cider that is alternately heated during the day, then cooled down at night, in a thin plastic jug, will produce enough gas to break the jug?

Fact #2.  We all know that one can attract more flies with honey than with vinegar.  But, it turns out one can attract plenty of flies with vinegar.  As I emptied the now half empty jug, a swarm of fruit flies was disturbed from its breeding ground.  It was at that point that I officially decided the cider was probably better not to drink.

Fact #3.  Breathing in a combination of vinegar and fruit flies is surprisingly less unpleasant than breathing in the smell of the decaying squirrel that got caught under my tire a few years back.

Fact #4.  The smell of decaying squirrel pretty much goes away when said squirrel is hosed out.  The smell of vinegar lingers for much longer.

Fact #5.  The results are inconclusive on the effects of flea and tick shampoo on fruit flies.  I think I eradicated more of them by driving around with all four windows open.

Fact #6.  The smell of vinegar, wafting through the air via open car windows, attracts bees.  Bee #1 will come for an extensive search to find the source of the smell, and finding nothing but a timid human swatting carefully at it with an ice scraper, it will send for a second Bee to aid in the search.

I hate bees.

And I will now have to make a special trip to Pennsylvania, just to get my Cider Fix.