Sunday, April 24, 2011

Easter Candy is too Cute

I'm not much of a candy eater.  My eating vices include pizza, chocolate cookies, and baked goods in general.  But candy?  Nah.  Sometimes, I do enjoy a piece of very very dark chocolate. But in general, candy can safely sit out in plain site in my house for months, even years, until I throw it out or some hapless guest takes a nibble from a seemingly enticing, but actually four year old, dried out, melted and re-hardened, shapeless mass of sugar.

In general, you can count on me to not eat your special piece of candy, but now and again, if the mood strikes me, I will have a piece.  There is, however, one way of absolutely ensuring that I will not touch a piece of candy:  shape it into the adorable mold of a cute woodland or barnyard creature.  Even as a small child, I was unable to eat the sweet little bunnies and chicks enjoyed by so many of the other kids.  But every year, I found the darling delectables in my Easter basket.  As a kid, the bunnies were inevitably devoured by my siblings and parents.  In college, they sat for a while before a drunken roommate would bite their heads off.  After college, they would accompany me in a box through a few moves until they were unrecognizable enough for disposal without guilt.

Since I met Adam, he has dutifully handled the initial demise of my little bunnies.  He chops them into little pieces, and he eats the faces.  He is so helpful.  Then he brings the carnage to me on a plate, not unlike the Easter feast itself.

But this year, a solution is finally reached:

Thanks to un-turn-offable flash of the phone's camera, this doesn't come through too well, but it's JUST the EARS!!   At last!  The chocolate industry has recognized my unfortunate plight.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

You Will Want to Facebook Me

I have never gone so long without a post.  Frankly, I am sort of stuck, or rather, struck - with a case of writer's block.  It all started back on February 20th (note - last post on February 19th!!).  I was ready to talk about weight loss.  Again.

My Constant Readers who joined me on Day One know that me wittle ole blog began as a Guide to Weight Loss.  There were a few problems with that.  First, I am a multi-dimensional, multi-talented, free-thinking Woman of the Tweens! (I guess that's the decade we're in, right?)  But every day, I would type up my blog about how I was constantly striving to change my bad self.  Someone who did not know me might infer from my blog (at that time) that I was unhappy with my body image, and by extension, with my life in general.  And it simply was not (and is not) the case.  I cannot honestly say that I wouldn't want to see myself in a mirror wearing a bikini and looking all sexy-hot, but I don't really obsess about this.  Most of the time, I do not actually find my body repulsive.  I just want to be healthy.  So, I didn't like the negative tone of my blog.

Second issue was that I ran out of new topics.  It was like, "Today, I'm going to write about eating less!" and the next day:  "Today's topic is exercise!"  Then: "Eat less!" and "Exercise more!" "Eat while exercising!" (not recommended by the way), and the cycle continued.  My blogs were preachy and boring.

Last, I would get some great ideas for a post, but not always about the Official Blog Topic.  And so my blog evolved into the mishmash of tangential musings you know and love today.

And while we are on that subject, I will just keep doing what I do, and launch into my unexpected inkling of an idea for a post:  billboards.

So I was driving home from the city tonight to see a billboard that read, "YOU WILL WANT TO FACEBOOK US."  Can I just say:


WTF does that mean?  Become a friend on Facebook?  Check out their Facebook page?  Like them on Facebook?  All of the above?  Come on, my Younger Members.  Help a gal out.


Oh, and by the way!  I lost 10.2 pounds in my 8-week program! (and gained 2.8 back in one week, in theory.  Personally, I am blaming this on a change in scale placement at the gym.  I believe gravitational forces are increased in the new location.  It is absolutely unrelated to the pecan tarts and chocolate chip cookies purchased in a moment of weakness last week.)