Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself...and Geese.


 Click here.  I promise, it is funny. 

Every day, I take a walk around a man-made pond near the office, and every day, I must deal with a couple of geese.  I have a healthy fear of geese.  They can be pretty mean, you know.  When I was a kid, I had a friend whose parents raised geese and it was her job to feed them.  She was terrified of those suckers.  So, perhaps, this is where my personal fear began.  Or perhaps I am repressing a horrible Incident.  Maybe my fingers are actually grafted on, because my original appendages were bitten off by irate geese.

For whatever reason, I HATE walking past these two geese.  Usually I have a friend who makes me feel ever so slightly safer, allowing me to scamper past them with my head held high.  But the other day, I had to walk between the geese because they were situated on opposite sides of the path.  I considered not taking a second turn around the pond, or walking a different, non-goose infested route.  But honestly, these two particular geese have paid even less attention to the humans near their pond than George Bush paid to the Constitution (zing!).  I thought about how SILLY and IRRATIONAL it would be to change my plans because of some freakin' geese!

So, boldly, I continued to walk along the path.  My hands began to sweat, and my heart began to race.  I clenched my fists and thought about how I would fight if, per chance, I were attacked.  I tried to calm my brain, because animals can smell fear.  I tried to take deep breaths and act large and in charge.  One goose crossed the path to join its mate as I neared.  It was slow and deliberate.

I squelched what appeared to be possibly tears.  It was definitely some sort of leakage.  I tried to laugh at myself, about how SILLY and IRRATIONAL this was.  I walked past the geese, giving all the appearance of calm, cool, collected, and most definitely, not, freaking, out.

And nothing happened.  I walked past the geese, and they held up their end of the bargain by pretending I wasn't there.

I would love to tell you that next time it will be different, that I will march along and not even notice the water fowl.  But that would be a lie.  I am just wondering - don't these guys know they should be flying south by now??

3 comments:

Tiffany said...

I haven't seen any geese since I've been here...luckily..I have a fear of most birds...except penguins cause they are just so cute...oh and flamingos cause that pink is just so pretty how could they be mean...but the others...they'll peck out your eyes if your not careful. :-)

Out of My Mind said...

Enjoyed emencly! Yep, understand TOTALLY. And, hey, thanks for the new idea....lol

Not irrational. Those suckers can REALLY bite.

THE IDEA: I lived on a farm as a kid and my uncle acually had an out house. He had the meanest goose in the world and its head came to my nose. So I will work up my story about the mad dash to and from the outhoue. He chased me every time...caught me a few!

Gotta go and type it up.....thanks again.... kt

antop is the WV of the day. I totally get this word.
I have a series of blogs about an ant problem. #1-5
(my first and what started this whole thing). There were definately ant ops in my house!

Out of My Mind said...

Me again! thanks for the comments. However, the last one:
The problem on this one is using Microsoft Word - it has weird formatting things that do not translate to HTML, and people like you and I do not know how to write in HTML. What does work is using a non-format processor like "Notepad" OR typing an email in gmail, which can be copied and pasted into Word if you want a copy on your computer.

ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS... H U H ? kt

neuro (If you don't like your seat move to a neuro)