Click here. I promise, it is funny.
Every day, I take a walk around a man-made pond near the office, and every day, I must deal with a couple of geese. I have a healthy fear of geese. They can be pretty mean, you know. When I was a kid, I had a friend whose parents raised geese and it was her job to feed them. She was terrified of those suckers. So, perhaps, this is where my personal fear began. Or perhaps I am repressing a horrible Incident. Maybe my fingers are actually grafted on, because my original appendages were bitten off by irate geese.
For whatever reason, I HATE walking past these two geese. Usually I have a friend who makes me feel ever so slightly safer, allowing me to scamper past them with my head held high. But the other day, I had to walk between the geese because they were situated on opposite sides of the path. I considered not taking a second turn around the pond, or walking a different, non-goose infested route. But honestly, these two particular geese have paid even less attention to the humans near their pond than George Bush paid to the Constitution (zing!). I thought about how SILLY and IRRATIONAL it would be to change my plans because of some freakin' geese!
So, boldly, I continued to walk along the path. My hands began to sweat, and my heart began to race. I clenched my fists and thought about how I would fight if, per chance, I were attacked. I tried to calm my brain, because animals can smell fear. I tried to take deep breaths and act large and in charge. One goose crossed the path to join its mate as I neared. It was slow and deliberate.
I squelched what appeared to be possibly tears. It was definitely some sort of leakage. I tried to laugh at myself, about how SILLY and IRRATIONAL this was. I walked past the geese, giving all the appearance of calm, cool, collected, and most definitely, not, freaking, out.
And nothing happened. I walked past the geese, and they held up their end of the bargain by pretending I wasn't there.
I would love to tell you that next time it will be different, that I will march along and not even notice the water fowl. But that would be a lie. I am just wondering - don't these guys know they should be flying south by now??