Monday, April 14, 2008

Tail Great

Oh Boy, it is going to be a tough week. The reason: a tailgate. For those unenlightened -- I of course am pretending at the moment that my readers are "virtual fans" rather than my family -- a typical tailgate menu consists of burgers, and beer, and cupcakes, and beer, and taco dip, and beer, and fried cheesecake, and crown royal, and sausage sandwiches, and beer, and french fries, and beer, and just about anything else - only no water (or ketchup). Oh, and did I mention beer? It is no exaggeration to say that the above list could represent my own personal consumption during past events. (Though I might drink more beer, and perhaps have more than one shot of crown royal. Oh wait, did I say perhaps?)
I have similar problems at parties, shin-digs, barbeques, buffets, hoe-downs, and hootenanies. Somehow, I am magnetically attracted to food, and despite a complete and total lack of actual hunger, I EAT. I have actually seen pictures to illustrate this phenomenon, taken at a friend's baby shower, where I strategically placed myself in front of a cookie sheet full of taco dip. One could arrange these pictures flip-book style and watch as the dip miraculously disappears. I have, of course, claimed that others had helped to eat the dip, but this is mostly a lie. True, other people may have had a bite or two, but for each bite by another, I had four. I was the only one in the room who did not have to leave my seat to eat the dip, and most did not get up while watching my friend open her gifts. The cookie sheet was easily half-empty after I had rampaged it.
I have very little control over this. As I say, the food just seems to come to me: I do not seek it out. Since beginning my diet, I have gone to several parties, and I have never successfully stayed within my goal. At our company's winter party, I planned for an embarrassing amount of calories (I cannot reveal this number - it is just too mortifying.) I will only say that I went over it by about 500 calories. And the worst part is that I thought I had done well, until I took inventory the next morning. (And by the way, the beer does not help the memory when trying to take stock.)
So, I have worked on a strategy in an attempt to reverse this crazy food attraction. I know that it seems very very geeky, but drastic times call for drastic measures. So I will be keeping notes as I eat (and drink). Don't worry, I have a high limit on the calorie consumption allotted - I will be giving up my snack for the week, and continuing with the coffee cut. I only hope that it is enough.

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