Stalker

On Saturday, I went to a different grocery store, conveniently located next to a gas station with a car wash. I knew there was potential for there to be a few cars in line. It was an absolutely gorgeous day, and Marylanders were emerging from their holes all squinty-eyed to enjoy some sunshine. But first, they had to remove the quarter inch of salt which was plastered to the sides of their cars. So yes, there were cars in line. I pulled up next to a pump and observed that the line ran from the car wash, behind the length of the convenience store, around the side of the store and ended with a car about 15 feet in front of the first parking space. At roughly 10 feet per car, assuming about...140 feet, we have 14 cars. And, lets say the wait is 3 minutes per car. Yikes. I was going to need some reading material.

No biggie, I thought as I stared down my gas gauge. It was nearing empty, but I wasn't about to pay $1.91 a gallon if I still had to find a car wash. I pulled out, unfulfilled, but full of hope. I looked to the car wash a few blocks away, thinking these guys were all suckers, unknowing of this alternate car wash lurking just below their noses. I had little time to make the assessment before needing to decide if I should pull into the grocery store or go for car wash plan B, but this was not a problem. The car wash line nearly doubled back around in a full circle around the store. "Blimey," I wish I had thought (British accents are so cute!), "This task may be harder than I thought."

On the way home from the store, I decided to check out the place that offers car washes minus the gas and convenience store. I put on my turn signal to pull in, but quickly reversed direction as I nearly hit the SUV which had just managed to tuck itself into line without hanging its rear into the street. I decided the time was all wrong, and I would resume my search on my way to a party later in the evening.

Fast forward to 8pm, and I pull into a third gas station/car wash. The line was still about 12 cars long, but my gas gauge was no longer giving me any options. I bought the car wash, and the gas. The car wash ticket is valid for 14 days, and I figured I could make it in with minimal wait sometime before it expired.

Thus far, no luck. I have been by the place 4 times since Saturday. I sneak, I hover, I lurk. I know the employees, and who was late for their 10pm shift. OK, so I exaggerate. But perhaps priority could be given for those of us silly enough to buy dark blue vehicles and who live in a place that does not give access to its hose from October to April? That. Would be cool.

Until then, I am considering renting the car to hunters. I figure the deer will be mistaking it for a salt lick in no time.