Saturday, February 21, 2009

Go Figure

Have you ever seen a "breaking new study" with a headline that made you want to say: "Well, Duh!"? The following nuggets of knowledge were obtained through scientific study:
- Americans have lots of cars! An average of 2.28 per household.
- A man's attraction to potential partners is easier to read than a woman's.
- Laughter is contagious.
- People who play "massively multiplayer" role playing games invest more time in gaming than those who don't.
- Taking a combination of drugs and alcohol is bad for you. (By the way, this was not a study to determine if the "Do not take alcohol with this medication" sticker should go on your antibiotics. The official title of the paper: "Differential affects of cocaine and cocaine plus alcohol on neurocognative performance.")
- People who have to attend many meetings in the workplace are grumpier than those who don't.
- Things that are far away are harder to see than things that are close.
- Swallowing more than one magnet is dangerous.
- Memory and concentration deteriorate with age.

This week, I conducted my own quasi-scientific study and determined that it doesn't matter how many celery sticks and baby carrots you have cut up and ready for eating in the refrigerator. The "Container of Fudge" will win out every time.

Go figure.


Tiffany said...

This week you have carrot cake to eat for dessert and I think this is the ultimate solution because I have done my own scientific studies and have found "vegetables shredded up in to miniscual pieces and then mixed with lots of butter and sugar and baked into the form of a cake, taste better than plain vegetables." Go figure!

Brandon said...

I remember seeing a study when I was at Penn State that concluded that traffic in the State College area is much worse on football weekends. I have to imagine somebody got paid to do these studies. I'm thinking of a career change. My cover letter would be entitled "jobs requiring less work allow more time to do something else"