Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Scene From My Life

"My Life" a one scene snippet with poor plot lines and dissatisfying conflict resolution:

The Stars: F-ing Model, Fat B*tch, and Me (Innocent Bystander)

The setting: Innocent Bystander (I) walks along the street on a blustery day last week (probably Thursday). She huddles in her coat and steps briskly against the cold. A bus pulls up to the curb in the distance. F-ing Model (FM) and Fat B*tch (FB) exit the bus, both yelling incoherently.

FM: He just using you, you Fat B*tch. Look at me! Look at ME! I'm a F-ing Model and you're a Fat B*tch. FM lifts her heavy coat and shirt beneath to reveal her presumably spectacular body.

I: Being grateful to miss the glimpse of boobies due to strategic placement of FM's large handbag draped over her elbow, begins to realize that walking between the arguers is inevitable because FM has crossed to the other side of the street and continues to yell obscenities at top volume.

FB: (Not to be outdone) He don't love you, you crack whore! You think you're so f-ing hot but you just a crack whore!

FM: You just call me fat? How can YOU call me fat, you Fat B*tch?!

FB: I didn't call you a fat whore, I said a CRACK whore!

FM: I am not fat!

FB: You are on CRACK!

I: Walks directly into the line of fire as FB correlates the similarities of one who uses crack and FM. Meanwhile, FM pontificates that nothing FB says could be valid due to her larger than average posterior. Obscenities are used freely by both parties. Being on the FB side of the street, I smiles at FB with an eye roll as if to say, "What the heck is her problem?" I avoids conflict and continues at a near run further down the street, noting a toddler with mouth agape in a nearby parking lot.


Danielle Mari said...

This totally reminds me of that website "Overheard in NY!" Hilarious!

CaraBee said...

People are crazy. Seriously.

Tiffany said...

that's funny:-)