As my Constant Readers may know, I started this blog in March 2008 after three months of successful dieting. My theory was that a blog should have a topic, but I stray from the topic much (most) of the time. I found that 24-7 of any topic would likely become dull, and my Constant Readers (ha ha like all 5 of you) would tire of my writing if I were to describe each and every mind battle over baked goods. Over the holidays, I have strayed from the topic again...and the diet.
This I knew without benefit of a scale. First off, I have been pretty much feeding on every cookie or candy placed within 20 or 30 feet of my location. I have also been celebrating the holidays with my family (read: drinking like a lush). I even played beer pong on a not so distant occasion, and my losses were not logged in my spreadsheet. In fact, as you know, I have been spread sheet free since October.
Second, my pants don't fit again. Those stupid jeans I bought while possessed by some demon are now the only things I have to wear. This because I dared to be optimistic (and really needed closet space) and I gave my old jeans to the less fortunate. I am such a moron.
But its a New Year, and I have a New Toy. Wii Fit has come to reside in my humble abode...and...it has (deep breath) a scale. Not only this, it is able to compute my body mass index and tell me I am overweight. It is also able to give me a goal, and compute that to get just into the "normal" range, I need to lose 7 pounds. To get almost squarely into the safe zone, it is more like 22.8 pounds. (It would not let me increase my desired weight loss any more than that...) It also told me I GAINED 3.1 pounds in one day. (I am blaming this on "different time of day", which is apparently totally legitimate. I am not blaming the delicious quiche and crab dip my friends made for New Years, which is probably more accurate.)
Sigh...I think I can do this. I did it (for a little while) before, and I felt great, I looked better, and I relished the possibility of a single digit size. I have not worn a single digit size since the 6th grade.
It is day 3 of renewed diet. Already, my jeans fit better. (Of course...I haven't washed them for three days either...)
5 comments:
Nicki,
You can do it. I am in exactly the same boat. About four years ago, I lost a LOT of weight. Like a LOT. And sadly, over the course of the past four years, I've gained a ridiculous amount of that back. And it kills me to look at the rubbermaid containers full of clothes that once fit and were sizes smaller than I normally wear and now no longer fit. But like you, I've made a commitment to myself to try to get back to those clothes. So hang in there, sister. You aren't alone on this journey.
I find it is always a good ego boost to put on a pair of dirty jeans. Which is one of the reasons why I always wear my jeans at least twice. Barring accident. I keep pushing for a Wii Fit around here, but no luck yet. Maybe for my birthday next month.
I didn't lose NEARLY as much as Mel. (What a goddess she is.) But I did lose quite a bit. And it somehow found me again. Sneaky weight. It's like a ninja!
Do you LOVE the WiiFit like I do? I'm afraid to get back on mine because I basically ignored it all through the holidays. So I think it will yell at me.
Personally, my resolution is to try and love myself whatever the scale says. And to get, as Mel put it so well, healthier.
You are so not alone in this.
Oh and PS- I totally gave away my fat clothes too. And had to buy more when the weight found me. Sigh.
Ditto on wearing dirty jeans to boost the self-esteem. I am one of those strange people who gets pleasure out of doing laundry, but there is nothing worse that putting on a pair of jeans fresh out of the dryer.
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