If my stomach had a personality, I imagine it would be a bratty toddler who needs a nap. My brain, the exacerbated parent, responds:
Stomach: I'm huuungry!
Brain: You just had lunch 45 minutes ago. You can't be hungry.
S: Yes, yes I am. Can we go over to architecture and see if they still have the cookies from yesterday?
B: No! You can have some water. You're probably just thirsty.
S: But, Braaaain, I don't want water! I'm hungry. I want a cookie!
B: Look, do you want to ruin it for everyone else? What about butt?! She's down there, working hard for this body, and all you want to do is make her lumpy and undesirable!
S: Hmmmph. (Silence for approximately 19 seconds.) BRAIN!! I just want one cookie! Then I'll be quiet, I promise!
B: Oh my God. OK, if you PROMISE to stop with the hungry talk, I'll take you over to see if there's cookies. But if there's not, you still have to shut up, got it? No talk of vending machines, or Dunkin Donuts runs, none of that. Got it?
S: OK! Let's go!
Brain and Stomach walk across the office, and find that the cookies are gone. They have been replaced by a box of Munchkins.
B: Those are not cookies.
S: But they look OK. Let's eat a few! I'm hungry!!
B: Don't start again.
S: Munchkins are practically cookies! Come on!
B: Fine. But just one.
Hand reaches in and finds one glazed chocolate munchkin....and one with sprinkles...and another one with powdered sugar. Stomach awaits anxiously as Mouth chews while Brain, noting that the Munchkins are a little stale, begins calculating the devestation.
Showing posts with label cravings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cravings. Show all posts
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
The Best Laid Plans....
What I Planned to Eat Today:
Breakfast - 1/2 cup of cottage cheese and 1/2 grapefruit
Lunch - Healthy Choice Pannini Sandwich and 1 piece of fruit (an orange)
Dinner - Pork Chops with Peach Sauce, Rice, and a Salad
What I Actually Ate Today:
Breakfast - one piece of walnut cake and one cup of hot chocolate
Mid-morning Snack - one chocolate cupcake
Lunch - Pannini and one piece of vanilla cake (burned my tongue on pannini due to inability to wait any longer for deliciousness)
Dinner - Turkey Sandwich and a Salad (the pork is not defrosted yet)
And the day's not over! I still have that banana caramel cake in the fridge....
...our actual bananas are starting to get overly ripe. I would eat them if I had room, but there is an intern at work who likes to bake. Perhaps the world is against me? I returned from lunch today to find an email: a vendor stopped by with an ice cream sandwich for me, and it is in the freezer. I must admit this is an effective way to make people remember your company. I would have devoured it instantly of course, but I was too full of cake.
Breakfast - 1/2 cup of cottage cheese and 1/2 grapefruit
Lunch - Healthy Choice Pannini Sandwich and 1 piece of fruit (an orange)
Dinner - Pork Chops with Peach Sauce, Rice, and a Salad
What I Actually Ate Today:
Breakfast - one piece of walnut cake and one cup of hot chocolate
Mid-morning Snack - one chocolate cupcake
Lunch - Pannini and one piece of vanilla cake (burned my tongue on pannini due to inability to wait any longer for deliciousness)
Dinner - Turkey Sandwich and a Salad (the pork is not defrosted yet)
And the day's not over! I still have that banana caramel cake in the fridge....
...our actual bananas are starting to get overly ripe. I would eat them if I had room, but there is an intern at work who likes to bake. Perhaps the world is against me? I returned from lunch today to find an email: a vendor stopped by with an ice cream sandwich for me, and it is in the freezer. I must admit this is an effective way to make people remember your company. I would have devoured it instantly of course, but I was too full of cake.
Monday, June 23, 2008
P-r-o-b-l-e-m
I may have a problem. Since last Wednesday, I cannot stop thinking about, dreaming about, and finally eating p-i-z-z-a. Maybe if I spell it out*, my brain will not register the temptation? So, back to Wednesday: (picture Wayne and Garth as they prepare for dream sequence.)
This was the day after my fateful and near-fatal tire rupture on I-95. (Ok, so maybe it wasn't that bad, but I like to add a few alliterative adjectives for dramatic affect.) At lunchtime, a co-worker drove me to Sears to retrieve the car with its brand new tire. Sears happens to be in a "town center" (i.e. outdoor mall) which has several eateries, and since I had a craving for p-i-z-z-a, I went to Carmines and picked a delectable Sicilian slice with a beautiful piece of fresh mozzarella cheese and a lovely leaf of basil on top. It. was. Delicious!! Too delicious! If the "town center" were closer to work, I would have gone back for a mid-afternoon snack, but luckily it is 15 minutes or so away.
...So I had to wait until after work. Yes, I returned to the shop for a second wonderful slice, but alas, they were out of the Sicilian. That did not stop me, of course. I opted for a chicken alfredo slice which did not quite satiate my craving.
On Thursday, leftover p-i-z-z-a was placed in the kitchen. Some of the slices had green peppers, olives, onions, and tomatoes piled on top, so it took little time for me to convince myself that it was practically a salad. With sauce. and cheese. and crust. and, under all those healthy veggies, about a quarter pound of sausage and pepperoni. (Honestly, I didn't know that was there!! If so, I may have hesitated for approximately 30 more seconds.) As it stands, I inhaled that "salad" in about 2.7 seconds. But at least my craving was over right??
Wrong. Today, I innocently decided that the recycling should not wait until the weekend, so I put the stuff in the car this morning for lunchtime transport. I got all the way through the process, and started to head back to the office when I realized that I was fairly close to the "town center" again. And...I finally had my second slice of that Sicilian. Oh so good. Oh so high in calories. But oh so good. Do you think they put heroine or nicotine in the sauce??
Tomorrow I will eat my soup. Really. I hope.
*This technique is blatently stolen from Jen Lancaster's new book "Such a Pretty Fat". This girl is hilarious in her blog and her book, and I can't wait to read her other two books.
This was the day after my fateful and near-fatal tire rupture on I-95. (Ok, so maybe it wasn't that bad, but I like to add a few alliterative adjectives for dramatic affect.) At lunchtime, a co-worker drove me to Sears to retrieve the car with its brand new tire. Sears happens to be in a "town center" (i.e. outdoor mall) which has several eateries, and since I had a craving for p-i-z-z-a, I went to Carmines and picked a delectable Sicilian slice with a beautiful piece of fresh mozzarella cheese and a lovely leaf of basil on top. It. was. Delicious!! Too delicious! If the "town center" were closer to work, I would have gone back for a mid-afternoon snack, but luckily it is 15 minutes or so away.
...So I had to wait until after work. Yes, I returned to the shop for a second wonderful slice, but alas, they were out of the Sicilian. That did not stop me, of course. I opted for a chicken alfredo slice which did not quite satiate my craving.
On Thursday, leftover p-i-z-z-a was placed in the kitchen. Some of the slices had green peppers, olives, onions, and tomatoes piled on top, so it took little time for me to convince myself that it was practically a salad. With sauce. and cheese. and crust. and, under all those healthy veggies, about a quarter pound of sausage and pepperoni. (Honestly, I didn't know that was there!! If so, I may have hesitated for approximately 30 more seconds.) As it stands, I inhaled that "salad" in about 2.7 seconds. But at least my craving was over right??
Wrong. Today, I innocently decided that the recycling should not wait until the weekend, so I put the stuff in the car this morning for lunchtime transport. I got all the way through the process, and started to head back to the office when I realized that I was fairly close to the "town center" again. And...I finally had my second slice of that Sicilian. Oh so good. Oh so high in calories. But oh so good. Do you think they put heroine or nicotine in the sauce??
Tomorrow I will eat my soup. Really. I hope.
*This technique is blatently stolen from Jen Lancaster's new book "Such a Pretty Fat". This girl is hilarious in her blog and her book, and I can't wait to read her other two books.
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