Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Trial and Error

That Darn Cat!  I was so excited to tell y'all about my new car, and she went and let the cat out of the bag.  Ah, well, se es la vie.

The car is totally awesome and I love love love the hatchback and the cute rear wind shield wiper.  Do not ask me about gas mileage or safety features.  But I can tell you the cup holders are conveniently located, it has cruise control, and the radio works pretty well.

Naturally, the first thing I did was sit down and read the owner's manual front to back.


Instead, I have been pressing random buttons in futile attempts to do something.  I tried cruise control, but have so far managed only to light up a "cruise" light on the dashboard.  The light gives the appearance that speed regulation is occurring, but the needle going slowly and steadily down after my foot is disengaged from the gas pedal seems to imply otherwise.  I messed around with the wind shield wipers (including cutie in the back!) and tried to clean the window.  I was convinced the washer fluid container was empty, so I searched for the hood release.  After accidentally removing the fuse box lid, I figured I should maybe peruse the manual.  Hood up (hydraulic!) and fluid full.  Hmmm...back to manual.  Oh! So that's how you do it!

This morning, my friend wanted to know how I liked the car.  Nice, I said, but so smooth.  Normally, I attempt to miss potholes (I swear!) and pretty much hit every one.  But this car runs so smooth, I can hardly feel potholes.  Perhaps I have finally managed to avoid them?  I think not...I told her it was so smooth I couldn't even tell how fast I was going.

At lunch, I put the key in the door to unlock it and --- WHA! WHA! WHA! WHA! WHA!  AWEEEOAWEEEOAWEEO!  Shit!  After slight heart attack I began mashing buttons on the little button thingie.  Thankfully, they all stop the beeping.  So.  The car has an alarm.  And it goes off when you use the key in the door.  I filed that little gem away for future reference, but I am sure I will forget at the most inopportune time, like when I am late for a funeral and everyone has just bowed their heads for a moment of silence.  (I apologize in advance.  I just never had one o' these button pushin' thingies.)

Also?  I have never had power windows.  I have awful memories of my parent's minivan with non-working power windows.  The driver side one got stuck permanently down, in winter.  Driving in 36 degree sleet is really not fun with the window all the way down.  Then, my dad got some plexiglass and affixed it in the opening, but it was summer by that time, and I probably don't have to tell you the AC didn't work either.  So, I have boycotted power windows.  Who needs em?  But unfortunately, I found power locks  to be a necessity since I have had four doors to worry about and power locks don't come without power windows.  So, every time I have stopped the car, I have had to put the key back in the ignition switch, and power up the friggin windows.

On the way home, it was smooooth sailing.  Until I met up with an unmarked police vehicle in the opposite lane.  He kindly flashed his lights and motioned for me to turn into a street on the right, and I figured there might be an accident ahead but I didn't know this detour.  And then the guy follows me in, and I think maybe he is pulling me over.  Apparently, I was going 53 in a 35 mile an hour zone.  I didn't have to feign surprise because I was honestly shocked.  Luckily, I had the paperwork to prove my claim (Seriously officer, I just bought this car yesterday!) and he let me off with a warning.

So...sure, I could read the manual.  But where is the adventure in that?

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