Thursday, September 1, 2011

Spotlight on Super Glue

I have just been to Wal-Mart, attempting to undo the damage from Hurricane Irene, or rather, from the preparation for damage from Hurricane Irene.  We were out of super-glue.

I spent $78.00.

Dang super glue.  I wasn't sure which aisle it would be in and I ended up traversing the whole freaking store.  I found it, along with $75 worth of other stuff, then saw it hanging right next to the checkout line.

Naturally, I now have super glue in place of skin on most of my fingers.  I can only hope it will come off before I travel to Houston on 9-11.  I am a bit concerned about the trip because I will need to bring my "engineers bag" again.  The last time I took it, I ended up with 15 razor blades in my carry-on.  I imagine that another slip up, coupled with the questions about why I have replaced my fingerprints with a wrinkly mass of well adhered plastic will make me miss my plane.

But I digress.

I wanted to update y'all on The Glasses Incident, because, frankly, I'm a genius (with superglue on my fingers).  I went outside to search, one more time, before Adam mowed the yard.

In the dark!

You heard me.

I took a flashlight out there, and every little dewy blade of grass glistened in the spotlight.  I swept back and forth for a while, and had just about given up when, there they were, plain as day.  They were exactly where I thought they would be - where I had blindly swept my hands, then scanned, then raked.  I call it "Step Six:  The Spotlight."

Based on my theory, prison inmates should attempt to escape in the daytime to avoid detection.

I will remember this when I go through airport security.

1 comment:

kt said...

Ok, let me try this again.........

AN INTERNAL MERCHANDISING MEMO PROBABLY READS:

Attention all employees: You will randomly move ALL merchandise on a random schedule to random areas.
Extensive studies show that the average person spends 75.5 more dollars while searching for the 1 item they came in to buy...... (for all your hard word the .5 will be divided up among all of you as a Christmas bonus).