Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Three Hour Tour

Last week, we got about 3 inches of snow overnight.  Snow has never been a huge bother for me.  I shoveled out of the driveway and headed in to work at the usual time.  Unfortunately, the roads weren't really plowed yet and it was a wee wittle bit slippy.  But, I kept the speed to a sensible 20 miles an hour or so, and got to work in about an hour.  Took twice as long, but all was well.

More snow was expected for the night, and I heard reports of another 3 inches, maybe more.  No big whoop.  People at work were leaving at like 3:30, and there was no snow on the ground.  Whimpy, whimpy, whimpy.  I looked outside around 4:00 and wee wittle sprinkles had begun.  I decided to finish up on the project I had started, maybe go to the gym before heading home.

At 5:00 I walked outside to the parking lot.  Whoa.  There was already nearly an inch and it was snowing intently.  I decided to skip the gym.  Calmly, I started the car and began the trek homeward.  It was still a bit slippy, and I turned onto my normal road to traverse the first one lane bridge.  Shortly after this, all the cars in front of me stopped.  I waited patiently, unsure of what the problem was.  About five minutes later, we continued up the hill, but one car stayed off to the side for some reason.  Curious, I thought.

Slowly, carefully, I continued on my way.  The roads were terrible, but I did ok.  I looked at the clock and thought it would take another hour to get home.  Maybe more.

And then I passed a car stuck on a hill as it tried to maneuver in the opposite direction.  Shortly after that, I stopped in a line of cars as far as I could see, for an unknown reason.

I continued to sit there, unable to move in either direction, for 45 minutes.  There were now more like 5 inches of unplowed flakes on the ground, the car was covered and dark with snow (on one side), and I had moved about 50 feet only when those in front of me turned around.

Finally a fire department SUV arrived on the scene.  And got stuck behind three cars that were stuck.

At this point, I decided to take my chances in the other direction.  Like so many before me, I performed a three point turn in slippery conditions, and high tailed it out of there - carefully.  Luckily, the cars stuck in the opposite direction had unstuck themselves and I was able to make it back out to the light and turn south.  Slowly, I drove another half mile before I had to stop again.  On a bridge.  With cars as far as the eye could see in both directions.  Here I sat for 20 minutes.  And the snow continued to accumulate.

Finally, I began moving again on this road that was only sort of the right direction.  There were cars stuck everywhere.  I began to panic.  What if I got stuck?  What if I hit someone?  What if someone hit me?  My legs began to shake and I became short of breath as hour #2 of the trip came and went.

I had to pee so bad.

Finally, I encountered a plow!  Hurray! A big push-the-snow-out-of-the-way thingie! But wait a minute.  It was pushing snow into the way, right near a traffic light.  The light turned red, so I stopped in front of the snow pile, assuming the guy would move it out of the way between light cycles.  Three cars drove around me, in front of the plow, and through the red light.  OK, A-holes aside, now lets get with the snow moving, I mentally thought at the snow plow dude.  Even better, pull out in front of me and clear a path for me to follow.  Unfortunately, mind channeling requires two minds.  And the plow driver was apparently a few cards short of a deck.  He pushed more snow into my path, which seriously increased my blood pressure.

The light turned green and plow was still in the way.  And then he turned towards my path.  Yippee!  As long as I could charge over the snow mound, I could follow this beacon home!  Mind channeling does work!

And then he backed up.

All right buddy, that's it.  I guess the A-holes (though still A-holes) knew what they were doing.  I pushed through the pile of snow and eased around the plow.  The rest of the trip, though terrifying, was thankfully devoid (mostly) of other vehicles.  I was panic stricken, and unable to determine if the tears were due to the intense fear or the overwhelming desire to find a potty or squat in the snow.

At this point, I had decided the goal to get home was a tad over-zealous. I revised my goal to get as close to home as possible, preferably within walking distance.  I passed many cars and very stupid pedestrians walking in black clothing in the middle of unplowed lanes.

I encountered two more plows - one in the way again, and the other frustratingly with a landscaping logo on its side and its plow up.  Put it down, man! I yelled.

At least I was able to follow his tracks.

I got home at 8:25, just a bit over three hours after leaving work. There was just enough time to make and eat some pasta before the power went out.  For the next 22 hours.


Out of My Mind said...

Glad to see you posting.....But, mannnnnn, what a day! So, did you freeze your tush off that night?

I have 3 feet in my front yard and driveway. I have 4 wheel drive but even that won't help. I hope I can talk my neighber into clearing my driveway with his tractor.

Hey, I have another giveaway up and going. It's a beaut. Check out today's blog (Tuesday).

Danielle Mari said...

SnOMG! Sorta like getting to a Phish fest. Only colder. And no concert. Or phatty grilled cheeses. So. Nothing like getting to a Phish show.

I bet peeing- even in the dark- felt great, though.