Friday, February 4, 2011

Egg-str, Egg-stra, Read All About It

I was driving home from a party a few weeks ago.  It was 1am on a Saturday night, and not many cars were on the winding back roads leading to my abode.  The party was fun, but I was a bit eggsausted, as 1am is waaaay past my bedtime.  A white hatchback quite similar to my own, but an older model, came speeding eggstremely fast in the opposite direction and there was an audible thunk as it flew by.

"What the heck was that?" we thought.  Silently, I wondered if I had inadvertently drifted toward the center lane and smacked my rear view mirror on the passing car.  It didn't seem like it...but the thunk did seem to emanate from the vicinity of the mirror.

"Probably a rock flew up," said my intoxicated passenger.  This was possible, and rendered me blameless so I went with it, resolving to check for dents when I got home.

We arrived safely and soundly a few minutes later, and I looked at the car to see yellow liquid on the driver's side door.  Luckily no dents.  I figured some jerkface A-hole threw their soda and accidentally hit my car.  "What a jerkface A-hole," I said, and then went to bed, figuring I would to go to a car wash in the morning.

In the light, however, things looked a little different:

Someone threw an EGG at my car!  WTF and all that txtspk for profanity!  This made me wish I had turned around and gotten a license plate for that Jerkface! A-Hole!  With more Capitals!  And Eggsclamation points!!!!  And do you see that grayish mark on the side that you probably think is a smudge on your screen?

It's a chip in the paint:

Guess what?  It was eggspensive ($250!!) to get this fixed, and required me to wash my car in below freezing temperatures.  Plus, it really ticked me off.

Unfortunately, there is no real moral to this sad tale - other than "Don't throw eggs at people's cars", but I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume you know that.  Still, it feels good to get it out there.  Thanks for reading!

Any stories about random jerkfaces in your lives?? Post 'em in the comments!


Out of My Mind said...

probably wouldn't have done any good to get their plate number. How could you prove it was them.

There are thousand of jerkfaces out there. Hopefully we don't run into too many of them!

Loved the egg treatment in the post. Very clever!

Tiffany said...

Hmmm..which jerk-face A -hole story should I choose???? How bout last night...after 15 hours of being at work, 2 and a half of them spent picking up rings in between soda bottles one of our students is running the wrong way when it is time to go home, we tell him to go the right way...then his jerkface A-hole of a mother wants to know why we are yelling at her son. She then comes back 3 minutes later and is showing me the 3 year old brother of her son...she tells us this is why he was going back to get his lost 3 year old brother...I tell her I don't care one way or the other, I just want to go home...I wanted to tell her that if it were me I wouldn't of lost my 3 year old...but I guess that would just be my parenting style. She is a jerk-face A-hole.