I came home the other night and headed to the bedroom, where a bunch of unrecognizable people were gathered, apparently having a party. I was tired from work and thought I would have a shower, but the people in the room told me Adam was already in there. A friend handed me a drink from the makeshift bar (Adam's desk) and advised me to sit down and take it easy while I wait. I sat with one ear to the bathroom, where I began to hear female giggling. I was told that Adam had two lady companions in the shower.
I wrestled with myself. On one hand, I felt I should be self confident enough to know that the jaunt in the shower was just a friendly (albeit very friendly) thing. He might enjoy the company of these girls, but I knew he loved me, so I told myself it was no big deal. On the other hand, it was a big deal. Why wasn't I enough for him? Tortured, I drank my drink until my friend suggested that I join them in the shower.
I was not confident that I would stack up against these girls. By the sounds of their giggling, they were likely to be supermodel types, while I, ashamedly, am not. I disrobed behind a screen and donned a blanket to cover my nudity as I approached the bathroom.
I opened the door, and the giggle girls were there, as pretty as I thought they'd be. I cried. I just couldn't bring myself to take off the blanket in front of them and I thought it was very disrespectful of Adam to assume I would be cool with this, regardless of whether an actual infidelity had been committed.
The girls laughed at me and Adam argued with me, and I woke up, short of breath and humiliated.
It was still dark out, Adam was sleeping soundly, the cat was likely puking somewhere, and all was well. But the feelings of anger, humiliation, and indignation, remained. I could not go back to sleep until 6:28, when I reached over to turn off the alarm which was scheduled to beep in two minutes. I ventured into another shower-related dream which took place at my parents house in their newly renovated bathroom. They had converted this into an all-shower room, and the water pressure was so great, that I awoke again gasping for breath because I was drowning in a veritable waterfall of water. But the original bad dream stuck with me throughout the day.
I found myself a bit angry with Adam because he was mean to me in my dream. I told him about it, hoping for some reason that he would apologize. However, he did not feel he'd done anything wrong, and was actually looking to me for an apology since my tossing and turning is not conducive to anyone's sleep.
I'd like to come up with a witty ending for this post...but for some reason I am very tired....