Sunday, August 3, 2008

Happiness is...

I guess there is hope for me yet, as I was rudely interrupted from blogging by Real Life. Frankly, I sometimes prefer the blogging. Adam and I took an impromptu vacation to his hometown in Pennsyltuckey (we are both Pennsyltuckians though our hometowns are 350 miles apart...) I wish we left under happier circumstances, but the reason for our trip was to say goodbye to Adam's grandfather, Cliff.

A large part of me is glad to know that Cliff is no longer suffering, for his last few weeks of life were no picnic. I keep typing and re-typing this paragraph, trying to figure out what it is I want to say. Much of me feels that I am not qualified to say anything, having only known Cliff for a relatively short time. Yet I know this man had a profound impact on someone I love most in the world, and I feel some sort of tribute is warranted. All I can think to write about is the last time I visited Cliff at his house, shortly before Christmas.

He was in good spirits that day, probably because he was happy to see Adam. He was able to walk fairly well, despite losing a toe to diabetes a few months before, and he did not need to use his ventilator. He showed off his newest gadget - a recliner with an electric lift - and joked in a subtle way quite reminiscent of his grandson's mannerisms. I do not remember much of the conversation, only that he fixed us coffee and cookies - complete with serving trays. He made this little snack with a great deal of enthusiasm. I think he was glad to be able to perform any task at that time, no matter how trivial.

I know that the last few months were hard on him. He suffered much, and hung around as long as possible. I think of that last visit and know that he was truly happy on that day, simply appreciating that he felt well, and was surrounded by people he loved. I only hope to live by this example, and realize that happiness is a state of mind which can be cultivated in any circumstance.


Danielle Mari said...

I am so sorry to hear about your family's loss. Our hearts are with you.
About a year ago, we lost Hubby's grandma. Like Cliff, she endured a great amount of suffering- so the end to that felt a bit like a blessing, though we knew the world would not be the same without her.
My hope for your family is that you get as much enjoyment out of his memory as we do out of Gram's. Sounds like you're on that road!

CaraBee said...

Well said. Gave me goosebumps.

Shani said...

So sorry to hear about Adam's granfather. We are both thinking of you and Adam.