Carrying a Concealed Umbrella

Yesterday, I took my (ahem) "daily" lunchtime walk, when a cop car came driving toward me. I am not sure all people feel uncomfortable when passing a cop, but I do. My mind begins to race: should I look at him? Should I look away? Do I look guilty? Why should I look guilty? I am not committing a crime...unless "carrying a concealed umbrella is a crime." Hahahahah, my inner self nervously laughs. The car passes. I opt for "smile and look", and his window is down. He looks a bit like the cop in the beginning of Terminator 2, who turns out to be an evil Terminator sent to destroy sweet Ah-nold. I wonder if I was just passed by a police impersonator. And I make a mental note to google "carrying a concealed umbrella" when I return to the office. Hey, it beats work.

Phew! Carrying a concealed umbrella does not appear to be a crime based on my extremely extensive 10 minute research.

However...the umbrella can be used as a weapon. Oh yes. In fact, a company actually markets an umbrella specifically designed to beat the tar out of a watermelon. So don't say you've never learned anything on my blog...

...unless you already knew that. I will be wary the next time I see a cop holding an umbrella in broad daylight.