Happiness is...

I guess there is hope for me yet, as I was rudely interrupted from blogging by Real Life. Frankly, I sometimes prefer the blogging. Adam and I took an impromptu vacation to his hometown in Pennsyltuckey (we are both Pennsyltuckians though our hometowns are 350 miles apart...) I wish we left under happier circumstances, but the reason for our trip was to say goodbye to Adam's grandfather, Cliff.

A large part of me is glad to know that Cliff is no longer suffering, for his last few weeks of life were no picnic. I keep typing and re-typing this paragraph, trying to figure out what it is I want to say. Much of me feels that I am not qualified to say anything, having only known Cliff for a relatively short time. Yet I know this man had a profound impact on someone I love most in the world, and I feel some sort of tribute is warranted. All I can think to write about is the last time I visited Cliff at his house, shortly before Christmas.

He was in good spirits that day, probably because he was happy to see Adam. He was able to walk fairly well, despite losing a toe to diabetes a few months before, and he did not need to use his ventilator. He showed off his newest gadget - a recliner with an electric lift - and joked in a subtle way quite reminiscent of his grandson's mannerisms. I do not remember much of the conversation, only that he fixed us coffee and cookies - complete with serving trays. He made this little snack with a great deal of enthusiasm. I think he was glad to be able to perform any task at that time, no matter how trivial.

I know that the last few months were hard on him. He suffered much, and hung around as long as possible. I think of that last visit and know that he was truly happy on that day, simply appreciating that he felt well, and was surrounded by people he loved. I only hope to live by this example, and realize that happiness is a state of mind which can be cultivated in any circumstance.

the HAPPY LIST

Inspired by the ever inspiring Cara, my own happy list:

HAPPINESS IS....

....coming home from a great bike ride in the woods, muddy, exhausted, and completely content

....taking a long shower on a day when I've got nothing to do, then sitting down to read a book and sip tea ALL DAY

....coming up with a kick-ass genius idea for a particularly tough structural issue AND having it work

....catching a football during a game or making an awesome volleyball save

....when Adam puts his arms around me or rubs my shoulders for no particular reason

....going to a concert and getting caught up in the music

....the first flower of spring

....listening to the Grateful Dead and watching the sun come up or go down

....spending the day in the kitchen making yummy food and listening to NPR on a lazy Saturday

....driving past a building that I designed (when it is still standing - I haven't had one fall, but I imagine that would be the opposite of happiness)

....autumn leaves and that fresh smell of October

....when my purry pussy cat jumps on my lap and curls up for a snooze

....the feeling after a great workout or yoga session

....being able to fit into the jean shorts that were too tight two years ago

....cheesecake, of course!