Why Do I Always Spend $200 at BJ's?

I can't control myself.  I go to BJ's for specific items - when I am expecting company, I buy food for a crowd.  I buy paper products like toilet paper, kleenex, and napkins.  I buy gum and toothpaste.  Yet, each time I make out to the store, I spend much more money than I budgeted.  On average, my receipts are just under $200.  Why?

Oh, that's right:

 

I went to the store for burgers, dogs, buns for all, soda, and bottled water.  I got all those things.  But I also got the items seen above.

Item #1:

 

The most practical of my items, and actually something on my extended list of things to pick up wherever, a nozzle for the  garden hose.  Did I need three nozzles?  Plus cool little attachments that allow you to snap your nozzles onto the end with ease?  Well, no...but how cool!  Now I have a nozzle for rinsing the car, one for showering my future garden plants gently, and one for...well, I'll figure something out.

Item #2:

 

Totally unnecessary, and certainly impractical for the cost, but who could pass these up?  It's chocolate.  And liquor.  Together!  In one most likely delicious ensemble which will surely be enjoyed by all.   As if that weren't enough, these little gems are ultra cute and wrapped to look like mini whiskey bottles.  I had to have them, have no idea how much they cost, and didn't give it a second thought.

Item #3:

 

Definitely the most optimistic of my purchases, and on so many fronts.  One, that the snow will melt someday, and summer will arrive.  Two, that my body will be comfortable enough to don a bathing suit.  Three, that I will be able to tolerate the annoying strap around the neck, which I have never tolerated in the past.  But this was only $23.99!  Again, I ask: how could I not buy this?

Thankfully, Adam called me to come home while I was perusing the $1200 outdoor table, chair, and umbrella sets.  They were really really nice though.   Really.

To My Newest Fan

Dear ComcastCares1,

Well played, I say.  Well played.  You must know I am a sucker for a new reader, and a commenter at that.  I am not sure why I specifically should get the special treatment of being called if there is some reason your workers can't make it to an appointment.  Perhaps this could be made standard procedure?  For everyone?

It should be duly noted that the kid who actually did manage to traverse the icy roads to our humble abode turned out to be a non-moron with possibly more than half a brain.  That is 95% more brains than we were expecting, and like a surprisingly good movie, we were reasonably satisfied.  I didn't meet the guy (by the way, "between the hours of 10am and 1pm" are sooo convenient for those of us with jobs).  But I am told by my better half that our local representative is the "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle" of Comcast reps - you don't expect much, and suddenly you realize he is actually a bit witty.  And believe me, my man is a tough nut to crack.  He's a computer programming professor (who luckily works at night) and it takes a knowledgeable person to impress him.

Now, I feel it is only fair:  it should be (triply?) noted that yesterday we received a bill for service at our old apartment - after we moved out.  We called today - apparently this is a bug in the system, a glitch in the matrix, that the computer cannot be stopped from automatically generating a bill if you happen to cancel service the day the bill is to be generated. You might want to get on that.

We haven't received a bill yet for the new place, but it would be ever so nice if it was right.  The first time.  But how much are you willing to bet, we will be billed from the day service was supposed to start instead of nearly two weeks later when service actually started?  One year of free HBO?  Two years? 

We shall see.

Of course, all would be forgiven should you decide to comment daily on my awesomeness.

Sincerely,
A Comcast Customer (who has tried giving you my phone number in order to look up my account before - apparently, there's more than one glitch in the matrix.)

I'm Back Baby!

Oh, how I have missed you so! I hate when life interferes with my blogging, and oh how it has.  When one moves in January, one knows:  it is a risk.  January, after all, is infamously known for short days and snow squalls.  However, it was with an optimistic heart that I scheduled not only my moving truck (too small) but my Lowes delivery containing the beginnings of our finished basement (too big).  One thinks to oneself, "Sure, it may be cold, but as long as it doesn't snow, it should be fine!"

Despite early week predictions for eight inches of snow on moving day, I remained cheery, and towards the end of the week, I was rewarded by the weather gods, who stepped down their prediction to just a light flurry with only one to two inches of accumulation.

It was around the time that we went to get the truck that the flurries began, and on the way back to the apartment, my car actually slipped a tad when I stopped at a stop sign.  At this point, there was only about a quarter inch of snow on the road.  Good thing it was only going to be a dusting!

I think you may see where this is going.  We got about eight inches that day.  The State Highway Administration was just as surprised as the rest of us, so roads were not plowed at all.  And did I mention that I bought a house near a state park?  aka Middle of Nowhere?  My normal route to work requires driving on unpaved roads and crossing four one lane bridges.

Luckily, we all managed to traverse alternate routes (eventually - Dad was so excited to use his four wheel drive...at first.)  However, Comcast did not come.  Comcast did not call.  For all we knew, the poor, frightened Comcast man was out there some where, slipping and sliding, trying desperately to fight through the elements in order to connect our internet.

On Monday, we assumed Comcast would call to reschedule their appointment.  But alas, that Comcast representative is still missing.  On Tuesday, we called to remedy the problem.  They couldn't find our account number, and when they did, they said they had simply not come due to the snow.  Apparently, it is not standard procedure to call when they cannot make it....We called off the search party for the rep.

A week later, Comcast was again scheduled to come out.  I feared living without internet for such a very long time, but it was the soonest they would come. 

In the meantime, we got 26 inches of snow.  I have always looked down upon those trying to buy snow shovels they day of a snowstorm - like, duh!  You knew it was coming!  What happened to your old shovel?  And then.  I entered Wal Mart on the day of a snowstorm.  The store was packed, as usual, but I was amazed to see so many people buying non-essentials.  There were people trying on shoes and clothes, people buying jewelry and handbags.  Crazy.  I did not find a shovel (but bought a drying rack and laundry detergent, which I had been meaning to get anyway...)

Target - no shovels.  Superfresh, Home Depot, Shoppers - no shovels.

I went home, and Adam told me he wanted to replace some electrical outlets while the snow fell, and asked me to go to Home Depot #2 with a list.  They had shovels...I overheard a man ask about them as soon as I walked in, and I followed him to a bin.  We both looked skeptically at the heavy-looking silver shovels with the $32.99 price tag.  With a sigh, I picked one up, and found it was aluminum, quite light.  "Not as heavy as they look," I remarked.

"I was hoping to spend less than $35," the man replied.  Though technically less than $35, I saw his point.  But I bought the shovel anyway, because I was not going to be out there with the coal shovel (very heavy!) again, picking away at two feet of snow.

Thank goodness the neighbor let us use his snow blower.  And it still took two hours.

I went to work on Monday, the day Comcast was scheduled to arrive (again).  Once again, a Comcast representative seems to have been lost, without a call or a note.  And we were to endure a third snow storm without internet. 

On Wednesday, it snowed all day.  We got 20 more inches, and did not bother the neighbor for the snow blower.  I have shoveled more snow in the past two weeks than I have shoveled in the last ten years.  I also got a terrible cold, which was not too bad as long as I didn't move.  Or breathe.

On Friday, Comcast came!!  Yay!

Now, I have a lot of blogs to read....and I have to make up the time lost at work.  Sigh...

Home is Where Your Bed Is

My list of things to do this morning, as usual, does not include blogging.  I am like the lame boyfriend you had in junior high who never called or did anything with you outside of school.  I promise this will change in a month or so.

A few scattered thoughts:

I have been learning a heck of a lot about painting, and how to stay up painting past my bed time.  Luckily I still go to work every day where I sit in a chair.

Despite the fact that I am supposed to be finding a good casserole recipe that makes like 12 servings so I only have to cook once this week, I am blogging.  This will most likely make me delay getting to the recycling center, the grocery store, the paint store, work (I forgot a house plan there) and, of course Home Depot.  And that is just what I need to do before I start working.  Today, painting.  Again.  Tomorrow, carpet removal.  Again.  Later in the week after Lowes delivery (don't tell Home Depot), the kitchen floor.  Random times in between, sleeping and eating.  I am not sure but I may be losing weight due to being too exhausted to eat when I get home and having no food at the house yet.  I will let you know when I have time to get on a scale.

I am getting to the point where I have to really think about whether something can safely be packed or if we might need it before the 30th.  I thought packing the cinnamon sticks and celery seeds would be acceptable.  These are spices I have likely used once in my entire time at this apartment, probably on the day they were purchased.  But wouldn't you know I got Adam a coffee and spice grinder for Christmas and he wanted to try a cinnamon coffee?  And this morning, I prepped some pork chops for consumption between paint jobs, and the recipe called for celery seeds.  Sort of makes me second guess my decision to take my dresses and summery shoes over today.  Yeah, there's snow on the ground, but what if there's a beach party I need to attend within the next three weeks??

I am amazed that I can't find stuff to pack because I am afraid I will need it, yet my apartment is still full.  I would say we have like half our stuff at the house and it is all in one tiny room.  It looks like nothing.  Yet in the apartment, the other half is still scattered about in drawers and closets, and though there are some empty shelves, it looks like we haven't done much at all.

I drove home the other night at about 12:30am after work, a community meeting, and painting.  This is apparently when deer come out to play, and I saw about 20 of them on my way home.  At one point, a small pack of them crossed one at a time in front of my car.  I didn't have to stop for the first one, but the second and third waited until I was about 20 feet from them before deciding to go for it.  The fourth one stayed off to the side, frozen like...well, you know.

I think it was that day that I realized: my heart is in the house right now, but my bed is in the apartment.  Home is where your bed is.

Let It Snow!

Sadly, the snow that hit Baltimore last week melted away in a torrent of rain yesterday.  Even sadly-er, I didn't have a chance to complain about shoveling OR the Maryland Transit Authority OR the record setting inch count because A) my midwestern friends got hit again with an even more noteworthy storm, making it sort of pathetic to complain about a mere 21 inches, and B) the stupid transit authority actually did a decent job, making it slightly harder to complain about them despite my declaration that they are my arch nemesis.  So what's a girl to do but enjoy the snow?

I was lucky enough to be home in Pennsylvania for my sister's graduation last week while Maryland was in a state of emergency.  So we pulled out all the old sleds we used as kids, and hit the ole' sledding hill.  In the dark.  With beer.

Yes, we're a tad larger than we used to be, but we had a blast!

All I Want For Christmas

All I want for Christmas is two toilet seats,
Two toilet seats, see two toilet seats.
Gee, if I could only have two toilet seats,
Then I could poop in peace on Christmas.

It seems so odd that one would choose
Sitting on a seat that's blue and "pinkle."
Gosh, oh gee, how happy I'd be
If I could only tinkle.

All I want for Christmas is two toilet seats,
Two toilet seats, see two toilet seats
Gee, if I could only have two toilet seats,
Then I could poop in peace on Christmas.

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates

I'm so sorry constant readers.  I know, I know.  I have been out there in the wide world, buying Christmas presents and wood stain, packing up boxes and boxes and boxes (and a few bags) of my CRAP, and pulling up carpet, and thinking about blogging.  But I have not actually been blogging, and I apologize.  I WOULD go out and buy each and every one of you a nice bouquet of flowers or box of chocolates, but I am too nice.  I know you would then have to go out and buy me a thank you card, and you would have it on your list of things to do for weeks, and then you would think it was too late to send a thank you card, and you would start to think maybe you ought to send a gift in reply, but then THAT would be on your list of things to do for weeks, and THEN you would realize that I had sent you a nice bouquet of flowers and you hadn't even had the decency to say thank you and you should probably just start avoiding me altogether and it would ruin our friendship (blogship?) and you would feel just terrible.  So do not worry, I am gracious enough to send you nothing.  I am such a good friend.

OK, so.

What have I been doing?  Well, we've been to the house a bunch.  Not as often as I would like, but about as often as I can make it without losing significant sanity, so it is enough.  I had one very frustrating day trying to buy SOMETHING decorative for the house.  I have biological evidence that I am a girl.  However, it seems I am missing some key girl-genes, and for the life of me, I cannot figure out what color paint/curtains/area rugs/shower curtains might be appropriate.  I suppose, looking back on my seven hour shopping extravaganza, wherein I purchased two shower curtains and some cabinet liners, I was too scattered in my objectives.  I went to store after store, attempting to find a shower curtain that would compliment my somewhat hideous baby blue tile, and my undeniably hideous pastel purple tile.  But inevitably, I would be sidetracked by the curtain section and the area rug section.  Also, I HATED EVERYTHING.

Now, I continue to go into stores with different objectives, such as finding a gift for my 89-year old grandmother.  (Seriously, she has had 90 Christmases.  How many blankets and knickknacks can one person use?)  In every store, I find shower curtains that would have been WAY better than the ones I bought.  I still hate all the curtains, and most of the area rugs.  And I have not found the perfect gift for my grandmother.

*************

As for the actual work, it is going fairly smoothly, but waaaaay slooooower than I thought.  I successfully pulled carpet in the two bedrooms and the dining room.  I have been convinced that we can at least save the ugly stuff for potential reuse in the unfinished basement.  Actually reusing it?  It is a battle for a different day. When it came time to drag the rolls down the stair, it became apparent that I am, truly, a girl.  I despise the movies where the girl stands around helplessly while her man fights to the near death to save her, and I have never been a proponent of the men doing the heavy lifting while the women bake the bread.  But goddammit, carpet is heavy and hard to grip with itty bitty girly hands.  I am so ashamed.

I hope I have bored you long enough, but not too much.  I hope you want to read more and have not abandoned my little ole' blog.  I think of it all the time, and I PROMISE to update more regularly.  I may tell you about our lesson in "why the band aids should have been packed first" and maybe even our first plumbing incident.  And, if you don't hear from me - expect some chocolates.