I am not much for planning. My "parties" tend to be spontaneous get-togethers in which most people do not come because they have already made plans. My "vacations" tend to be taking the place of someone who was supposed to go with a group, or family outings planned entirely by others. My "dinners with friends" tend to be suggested by friends at locations they want to go. My "girls nights out" tend to be for movies or plays that others wish to see.
I am totally and completely cool with this. You see, I am willing to go just about anywhere with just about anyone. I love being around complete control-freak, type A persons with itineraries, lists, agendas, and penchants for exotic beers. If I did not know these people, I would lead an extremely boring life and put very few miles on my car.
When I first met Adam, he seemed to be one of the types with ideas, plans, places to go, and people to see. In the first two years we were together, we went to Las Vegas (his company trip), Niagara Falls (his idea), and California (we stayed with my uncle, but most of our trips were planned by him). Then, he decided to save money for grad school, and these trips were no longer suggested.
Sadly, it is up to me. Lord help us. I have a hard time deciding on my favorite type of cake. And there are so many freakin decisions to make with a vacation - where to go, when to go, how much to spend, what to do, where to stay, what travel arrangements are needed. I guess this is why travel agents exist.
*******
Flash forward....I have just visited many travel agent sites. Travel? Is freaking expensive! The first few sites, I looked at the many zeros behind the dollar signs and thought, perhaps this is the price for a group of 2 or 4 people. No! It is for ONE person!! And does not include airfare, food, or beer!
I am going to need some help here. I want to go somewhere. Sometime. For some price that doesn't require a loan. Generally, we like outdoorsey stuff - we loved Yosemite National Park in California...but the sky's the limit. I think that's part of the problem...
.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Monday, May 9, 2011
Thank you, fellow Blogger!
A long time ago, when I was a fourth year in college - it actually was a five year program. Really. - I worked for a construction company. I ran the office and marked the quantities of concrete poured for Interstate 99 round-about Bellefonte, PA. This was probably one of the most boring jobs ever, but I did learn a few things.
Anyhoo.
They sent everyone a Christmas present and card, even lowly interns like me. My gift was actually pretty nice - a utility knife with 15 razors stored inside a cartridge. To change the blade, all you do is rotate the inner cartridge and slide the new blade up. The knife came complete with the company logo on the side, a little sheath, and instructions.
For most of the last ten years (yikes!) since I owned this knife, it sat in a drawer and got very little use. However, I took it with me when I went to help my parents with their New Room construction. It proved very handy. And then it disappeared.
I searched my parents house, but never found it.
Flash forward about two years to last month, when I was asked to go to our Lakeland, Florida office to look at some building cracks. I packed as much as I could fit in my bag, including some three ring binders, a clip board, my camera, and my "Engineers Bag". (Sort of like a doctor's bag, only mine contains a tape measure and various other tools useful for looking at structural issues.)
And that is where a nice man at Airport Security found my utility knife with its fifteen razor blades. He really was nice about it. He didn't confiscate the whole thing, but used my little "all-in-one" tool with a little screwdriver (also not allowed on plane) to loosen the screw, and then he pulled out each razor.
It was a tad ridiculous.
It turns out, the knife takes special blades, and I wasn't able to figure out what kind. The company logo on the side presumably replaced the actual manufacturer logo, and those instructions were loooong gone. Google search actually took a while and I was about to give up, when I found the answer on a Blog.
Woohoo!
Thank you, fellow Blogger! It turns out not all of us choose to ramble pointlessly!
A more poignant search revealed that I can buy replacement cartridges from a store in Minnesota, and apparently, no where else. Also, shipping costs more than the actual item. So I stocked up and bought the 7-pack. If I use these are the same rate, I now have enough blades for the next 70 years. (Or 7 plane trips.)
Anyhoo.
They sent everyone a Christmas present and card, even lowly interns like me. My gift was actually pretty nice - a utility knife with 15 razors stored inside a cartridge. To change the blade, all you do is rotate the inner cartridge and slide the new blade up. The knife came complete with the company logo on the side, a little sheath, and instructions.
For most of the last ten years (yikes!) since I owned this knife, it sat in a drawer and got very little use. However, I took it with me when I went to help my parents with their New Room construction. It proved very handy. And then it disappeared.
I searched my parents house, but never found it.
Flash forward about two years to last month, when I was asked to go to our Lakeland, Florida office to look at some building cracks. I packed as much as I could fit in my bag, including some three ring binders, a clip board, my camera, and my "Engineers Bag". (Sort of like a doctor's bag, only mine contains a tape measure and various other tools useful for looking at structural issues.)
And that is where a nice man at Airport Security found my utility knife with its fifteen razor blades. He really was nice about it. He didn't confiscate the whole thing, but used my little "all-in-one" tool with a little screwdriver (also not allowed on plane) to loosen the screw, and then he pulled out each razor.
It was a tad ridiculous.
It turns out, the knife takes special blades, and I wasn't able to figure out what kind. The company logo on the side presumably replaced the actual manufacturer logo, and those instructions were loooong gone. Google search actually took a while and I was about to give up, when I found the answer on a Blog.
Woohoo!
Thank you, fellow Blogger! It turns out not all of us choose to ramble pointlessly!
A more poignant search revealed that I can buy replacement cartridges from a store in Minnesota, and apparently, no where else. Also, shipping costs more than the actual item. So I stocked up and bought the 7-pack. If I use these are the same rate, I now have enough blades for the next 70 years. (Or 7 plane trips.)
Saturday, May 7, 2011
Wanted: Toad Roommate
Last year, slugs ate every one of my strawberries, the greedy bastards. Well, not this year! I am told that toads will eat slugs, and they will willingly come to stay as long as you provide them a house. A toad likes to live in a mini cave - basically a pile of rocks with an opening. And so, as my little green strawberries are just beginning to form inside their flowers, I went outside today and constructed the sweetest toad residence on the block. (I certainly hope toads are on the internet...who am I kidding?! Every species is now on the internet!
So, first allow me to show some photos of the fabulous, crime free and certainly non-toad eating yard in which your dream house is situated:
First, you've got your flowers....
your trees....
...and your groundskeeper, Buddy (shown on his break).
I mean, seriously, what Toad wouldn't want to live in this fabulous lap of luxury??
ALL THIS COULD BE YOURS!! (Free lodging and all-you-can eat slugs!)
I only hope I am not creating an "old lady who swallowed a fly" situation here...
Thursday, May 5, 2011
What I Expect When You're Expecting
Disclaimer for any random googler trying to find true medical advice: All information below is based on hearsay, speculation, anecdotal evidence, and episodes of Friends. I am not a medical professional, and, in fact, think that most things medical are "icky".
This post is in honor of my many friends who are pregnant or who have had babies, most recently my friend Madeleine (healthy baby boy born Tuesday), and Maria (due this fall).
I have never been "preggers" but I have about a billion friends who have experienced the joy of pre-motherhood. I find my knowledge has expanded exponentially as I learn something new from each mommy-to-be. I do not plan on using this knowledge firsthand (sorry mom), so I figure I will pass it on to you, my Constant Readers.
Frequently Asked Questions:
How Did You Know I Was Preggers?
7. You stopped trying to quit smoking, and you quit smoking.
6. You said you had a headache and could not attend a beerfest, despite attending one the year before with a headcold.
5. You refuse to eat soft cheese. I am not sure why.
4. You quit my volleyball/football/(insert sport here) team.
3. You are suddenly nauseated by Chick-fil-A, Subway, pretty much all fast food places, grocery stores, and the gym.
2. You stop going to the gym.
AND the number one way to tell you are Preggers: You order a sprite when everyone else orders margaritas.
When Should I Tell Friends that I am Preggers?
Ummm....hello? We already know. So you might as well get it over with early. You may keep us in the dark about the baby's name or sex (though you will not get very cute clothes for your baby should you choose this as all the cutest clothes are ridiculously gender-specific.)
What Should I Expect When I'm Expecting:
6. Almost everyone is "high risk" so don't take it personally. If you are over 35, having twins, have high blood pressure, have diabetes, blue eyes, or excellent insurance, you are "high risk."
5. You may experience high blood pressure while you are pregnant even if you do not normally have issues. This will make you high risk.
4. You may get rashes, zits, swollen feet, and varicose veins.
3. You may suddenly have an urge to eat a Slim Jim even if you have never had one before.
2. You may have to go on "bedrest" which sounds awesome until you find yourself in a bed on your birthday playing Scrabble for the 20th time that day.
1. Expect the unexpected. Some of the unexpected things can be joyous (I never had morning sickness!) or scary (my test results were abnormal so they had us do more tests and wait for weeks and then it was fine) or downright sad. But you'll always have your friends to help you through.
Should I Have an Epidural?
Some people do and some people don't. Do your research and make the choice that's right for you. I'll support you either way. This also goes for your child's name (even if it's Bear Baer), your child's diet, your child's circumcision or baptism or whatever else. I solemnly promise to be ok with whatever and to not offer advice unless you ask for it.
I also solemnly swear to buy your baby toys that make obnoxious noises.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
I've Got Blisters on Me Fingers!
I placed a few tarps in the barren expanse that is my backyard last fall, with the intention of killing the grass and planting a garden. The tarps (purchased more for their affordable two-for-five-dollar price than for actual plan) turned out to be a bit small. I figured that this would be okay, despite comments from multiple galleries of peanuts, because I know how hard gardening is.
One of my favorite books when I was a child was "The Secret Garden" which is a heartwarming tale about a spoiled rich girl whose parents are killed. She is sent to live with a mysterious (and even richer) uncle and is pretty much neglected, as she has months and months to wander aimlessly over the grounds. Anyway, she finds a garden and begins fixing it up since it has also been neglected (what a twist!) for years. This book made gardening seem enjoyable, and easy. It never mentioned that much gardening is, in fact, done outdoors. With bugs. And heat from a blaring mid-summer sun. It also never mentioned that weeding requires kneeling on one's knees for hours, and how picking vegetables requires bending over - for hours. This book never once warned readers that weeding is required daily, and that adorable woodland creatures will eat your plants and dig burrows in your garden. Well, Constant Readers, thank goodness you have me. Without me, you'd think gardening is all bluebirds and butterflies. Sure. But it is also mosquitoes, worms, and groundhogs.
So, the garden is small. And untilled. I called a tiller guy, and he wants five whole days without rain before he will come! Five! I don't think we've gone five days without rain since March, and then it was thirty degrees out. So tonight, I decided to do it myself with a pitchfork. I am not sure this is going to work, but since my only goal is to do better at gardening than last year, I will risk it. (BTW, last year I got a few strawberries that were eaten by slugs, zero tomatoes, and no peppers. If I successfully grow ONE edible thing this year, I will be tickled pink.)
New thing to add to unpleasantness of gardening: blisters. Next time I will wear gloves. And oh yes, there will be a next time. In two hours, I only managed a third of my itty bitty garden.
As I read this, I wonder what is driving me to garden at all. Good question. I guess it is this emptiness of yard. I feel like SOMETHING should be done, and at least gardening is something I have experience with. I also have plans for flowers, which for some reason I think will be relaxing and enjoyable. You see, I read this book once....
One of my favorite books when I was a child was "The Secret Garden" which is a heartwarming tale about a spoiled rich girl whose parents are killed. She is sent to live with a mysterious (and even richer) uncle and is pretty much neglected, as she has months and months to wander aimlessly over the grounds. Anyway, she finds a garden and begins fixing it up since it has also been neglected (what a twist!) for years. This book made gardening seem enjoyable, and easy. It never mentioned that much gardening is, in fact, done outdoors. With bugs. And heat from a blaring mid-summer sun. It also never mentioned that weeding requires kneeling on one's knees for hours, and how picking vegetables requires bending over - for hours. This book never once warned readers that weeding is required daily, and that adorable woodland creatures will eat your plants and dig burrows in your garden. Well, Constant Readers, thank goodness you have me. Without me, you'd think gardening is all bluebirds and butterflies. Sure. But it is also mosquitoes, worms, and groundhogs.
So, the garden is small. And untilled. I called a tiller guy, and he wants five whole days without rain before he will come! Five! I don't think we've gone five days without rain since March, and then it was thirty degrees out. So tonight, I decided to do it myself with a pitchfork. I am not sure this is going to work, but since my only goal is to do better at gardening than last year, I will risk it. (BTW, last year I got a few strawberries that were eaten by slugs, zero tomatoes, and no peppers. If I successfully grow ONE edible thing this year, I will be tickled pink.)
New thing to add to unpleasantness of gardening: blisters. Next time I will wear gloves. And oh yes, there will be a next time. In two hours, I only managed a third of my itty bitty garden.
As I read this, I wonder what is driving me to garden at all. Good question. I guess it is this emptiness of yard. I feel like SOMETHING should be done, and at least gardening is something I have experience with. I also have plans for flowers, which for some reason I think will be relaxing and enjoyable. You see, I read this book once....
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Easter Candy is too Cute
I'm not much of a candy eater. My eating vices include pizza, chocolate cookies, and baked goods in general. But candy? Nah. Sometimes, I do enjoy a piece of very very dark chocolate. But in general, candy can safely sit out in plain site in my house for months, even years, until I throw it out or some hapless guest takes a nibble from a seemingly enticing, but actually four year old, dried out, melted and re-hardened, shapeless mass of sugar.
In general, you can count on me to not eat your special piece of candy, but now and again, if the mood strikes me, I will have a piece. There is, however, one way of absolutely ensuring that I will not touch a piece of candy: shape it into the adorable mold of a cute woodland or barnyard creature. Even as a small child, I was unable to eat the sweet little bunnies and chicks enjoyed by so many of the other kids. But every year, I found the darling delectables in my Easter basket. As a kid, the bunnies were inevitably devoured by my siblings and parents. In college, they sat for a while before a drunken roommate would bite their heads off. After college, they would accompany me in a box through a few moves until they were unrecognizable enough for disposal without guilt.
Since I met Adam, he has dutifully handled the initial demise of my little bunnies. He chops them into little pieces, and he eats the faces. He is so helpful. Then he brings the carnage to me on a plate, not unlike the Easter feast itself.
But this year, a solution is finally reached:
Thanks to un-turn-offable flash of the phone's camera, this doesn't come through too well, but it's JUST the EARS!! At last! The chocolate industry has recognized my unfortunate plight.
In general, you can count on me to not eat your special piece of candy, but now and again, if the mood strikes me, I will have a piece. There is, however, one way of absolutely ensuring that I will not touch a piece of candy: shape it into the adorable mold of a cute woodland or barnyard creature. Even as a small child, I was unable to eat the sweet little bunnies and chicks enjoyed by so many of the other kids. But every year, I found the darling delectables in my Easter basket. As a kid, the bunnies were inevitably devoured by my siblings and parents. In college, they sat for a while before a drunken roommate would bite their heads off. After college, they would accompany me in a box through a few moves until they were unrecognizable enough for disposal without guilt.
Since I met Adam, he has dutifully handled the initial demise of my little bunnies. He chops them into little pieces, and he eats the faces. He is so helpful. Then he brings the carnage to me on a plate, not unlike the Easter feast itself.
But this year, a solution is finally reached:
Thanks to un-turn-offable flash of the phone's camera, this doesn't come through too well, but it's JUST the EARS!! At last! The chocolate industry has recognized my unfortunate plight.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
You Will Want to Facebook Me
I have never gone so long without a post. Frankly, I am sort of stuck, or rather, struck - with a case of writer's block. It all started back on February 20th (note - last post on February 19th!!). I was ready to talk about weight loss. Again.
My Constant Readers who joined me on Day One know that me wittle ole blog began as a Guide to Weight Loss. There were a few problems with that. First, I am a multi-dimensional, multi-talented, free-thinking Woman of the Tweens! (I guess that's the decade we're in, right?) But every day, I would type up my blog about how I was constantly striving to change my bad self. Someone who did not know me might infer from my blog (at that time) that I was unhappy with my body image, and by extension, with my life in general. And it simply was not (and is not) the case. I cannot honestly say that I wouldn't want to see myself in a mirror wearing a bikini and looking all sexy-hot, but I don't really obsess about this. Most of the time, I do not actually find my body repulsive. I just want to be healthy. So, I didn't like the negative tone of my blog.
Second issue was that I ran out of new topics. It was like, "Today, I'm going to write about eating less!" and the next day: "Today's topic is exercise!" Then: "Eat less!" and "Exercise more!" "Eat while exercising!" (not recommended by the way), and the cycle continued. My blogs were preachy and boring.
Last, I would get some great ideas for a post, but not always about the Official Blog Topic. And so my blog evolved into the mishmash of tangential musings you know and love today.
And while we are on that subject, I will just keep doing what I do, and launch into my unexpected inkling of an idea for a post: billboards.
So I was driving home from the city tonight to see a billboard that read, "YOU WILL WANT TO FACEBOOK US." Can I just say:
?
WTF does that mean? Become a friend on Facebook? Check out their Facebook page? Like them on Facebook? All of the above? Come on, my Younger Members. Help a gal out.
Peace.
Oh, and by the way! I lost 10.2 pounds in my 8-week program! (and gained 2.8 back in one week, in theory. Personally, I am blaming this on a change in scale placement at the gym. I believe gravitational forces are increased in the new location. It is absolutely unrelated to the pecan tarts and chocolate chip cookies purchased in a moment of weakness last week.)
My Constant Readers who joined me on Day One know that me wittle ole blog began as a Guide to Weight Loss. There were a few problems with that. First, I am a multi-dimensional, multi-talented, free-thinking Woman of the Tweens! (I guess that's the decade we're in, right?) But every day, I would type up my blog about how I was constantly striving to change my bad self. Someone who did not know me might infer from my blog (at that time) that I was unhappy with my body image, and by extension, with my life in general. And it simply was not (and is not) the case. I cannot honestly say that I wouldn't want to see myself in a mirror wearing a bikini and looking all sexy-hot, but I don't really obsess about this. Most of the time, I do not actually find my body repulsive. I just want to be healthy. So, I didn't like the negative tone of my blog.
Second issue was that I ran out of new topics. It was like, "Today, I'm going to write about eating less!" and the next day: "Today's topic is exercise!" Then: "Eat less!" and "Exercise more!" "Eat while exercising!" (not recommended by the way), and the cycle continued. My blogs were preachy and boring.
Last, I would get some great ideas for a post, but not always about the Official Blog Topic. And so my blog evolved into the mishmash of tangential musings you know and love today.
And while we are on that subject, I will just keep doing what I do, and launch into my unexpected inkling of an idea for a post: billboards.
So I was driving home from the city tonight to see a billboard that read, "YOU WILL WANT TO FACEBOOK US." Can I just say:
?
WTF does that mean? Become a friend on Facebook? Check out their Facebook page? Like them on Facebook? All of the above? Come on, my Younger Members. Help a gal out.
Peace.
Oh, and by the way! I lost 10.2 pounds in my 8-week program! (and gained 2.8 back in one week, in theory. Personally, I am blaming this on a change in scale placement at the gym. I believe gravitational forces are increased in the new location. It is absolutely unrelated to the pecan tarts and chocolate chip cookies purchased in a moment of weakness last week.)
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