Sunday, December 27, 2009

Let It Snow!

Sadly, the snow that hit Baltimore last week melted away in a torrent of rain yesterday.  Even sadly-er, I didn't have a chance to complain about shoveling OR the Maryland Transit Authority OR the record setting inch count because A) my midwestern friends got hit again with an even more noteworthy storm, making it sort of pathetic to complain about a mere 21 inches, and B) the stupid transit authority actually did a decent job, making it slightly harder to complain about them despite my declaration that they are my arch nemesis.  So what's a girl to do but enjoy the snow?

I was lucky enough to be home in Pennsylvania for my sister's graduation last week while Maryland was in a state of emergency.  So we pulled out all the old sleds we used as kids, and hit the ole' sledding hill.  In the dark.  With beer.

Yes, we're a tad larger than we used to be, but we had a blast!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

All I Want For Christmas

All I want for Christmas is two toilet seats,
Two toilet seats, see two toilet seats.
Gee, if I could only have two toilet seats,
Then I could poop in peace on Christmas.

It seems so odd that one would choose
Sitting on a seat that's blue and "pinkle."
Gosh, oh gee, how happy I'd be
If I could only tinkle.

All I want for Christmas is two toilet seats,
Two toilet seats, see two toilet seats
Gee, if I could only have two toilet seats,
Then I could poop in peace on Christmas.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates

I'm so sorry constant readers.  I know, I know.  I have been out there in the wide world, buying Christmas presents and wood stain, packing up boxes and boxes and boxes (and a few bags) of my CRAP, and pulling up carpet, and thinking about blogging.  But I have not actually been blogging, and I apologize.  I WOULD go out and buy each and every one of you a nice bouquet of flowers or box of chocolates, but I am too nice.  I know you would then have to go out and buy me a thank you card, and you would have it on your list of things to do for weeks, and then you would think it was too late to send a thank you card, and you would start to think maybe you ought to send a gift in reply, but then THAT would be on your list of things to do for weeks, and THEN you would realize that I had sent you a nice bouquet of flowers and you hadn't even had the decency to say thank you and you should probably just start avoiding me altogether and it would ruin our friendship (blogship?) and you would feel just terrible.  So do not worry, I am gracious enough to send you nothing.  I am such a good friend.

OK, so.

What have I been doing?  Well, we've been to the house a bunch.  Not as often as I would like, but about as often as I can make it without losing significant sanity, so it is enough.  I had one very frustrating day trying to buy SOMETHING decorative for the house.  I have biological evidence that I am a girl.  However, it seems I am missing some key girl-genes, and for the life of me, I cannot figure out what color paint/curtains/area rugs/shower curtains might be appropriate.  I suppose, looking back on my seven hour shopping extravaganza, wherein I purchased two shower curtains and some cabinet liners, I was too scattered in my objectives.  I went to store after store, attempting to find a shower curtain that would compliment my somewhat hideous baby blue tile, and my undeniably hideous pastel purple tile.  But inevitably, I would be sidetracked by the curtain section and the area rug section.  Also, I HATED EVERYTHING.

Now, I continue to go into stores with different objectives, such as finding a gift for my 89-year old grandmother.  (Seriously, she has had 90 Christmases.  How many blankets and knickknacks can one person use?)  In every store, I find shower curtains that would have been WAY better than the ones I bought.  I still hate all the curtains, and most of the area rugs.  And I have not found the perfect gift for my grandmother.


As for the actual work, it is going fairly smoothly, but waaaaay slooooower than I thought.  I successfully pulled carpet in the two bedrooms and the dining room.  I have been convinced that we can at least save the ugly stuff for potential reuse in the unfinished basement.  Actually reusing it?  It is a battle for a different day. When it came time to drag the rolls down the stair, it became apparent that I am, truly, a girl.  I despise the movies where the girl stands around helplessly while her man fights to the near death to save her, and I have never been a proponent of the men doing the heavy lifting while the women bake the bread.  But goddammit, carpet is heavy and hard to grip with itty bitty girly hands.  I am so ashamed.

I hope I have bored you long enough, but not too much.  I hope you want to read more and have not abandoned my little ole' blog.  I think of it all the time, and I PROMISE to update more regularly.  I may tell you about our lesson in "why the band aids should have been packed first" and maybe even our first plumbing incident.  And, if you don't hear from me - expect some chocolates. 

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Dude! Seriously?

Dude!  Seriously?  It costs THAT much??!

I thought I had an edge over the average Joe, since the construction industry indirectly pays my rent (and occasionally lays me off...)  But it turns out, when I am asked to do pricing for others I am generally not overly concerned with the bottom line.  After all, I didn't choose the fancy pavers in the plaza or the partitions in the restrooms, I just count how many of them there are and add the number to a spreadsheet.  Also, when you are talking bugdets of $2.8 million, a $2500 counter top really ain't such a big deal.

But, $2500 is a big deal to me and my significantly reduced bank account.  Think it can't possibly cost that much? Well, think again.  All I wanted was a nice, granite counter.  Is that so much to ask?  I found out it is freaking $64 a square foot, not including the cost for backsplash or edging.  Poo.

No granite for me.

Guess what else costs more than I thought?

1.  Sheds.
2.  Paint.
3.  Tile flooring.
4.  Overlay for concrete floors.
5.  Fireplaces.
6.  Ladders.
7.  Gardening tools.
8.  Books about gardening.
9.  Trash pick up service.
10.  Composting.
11.  Cable television*

*Actually, on that last one, it is hard to say.  You see, the cable company advertises this "triple play" deal which gives a great price for the first six months.  However, no one seems to be able to quantify the costs after that.  We don't even really want cable tv, but it is actually more expensive to get just a phone line and internet service.  WTF?